Military Divorce

My spouse is deployed can I still continue with our divorce?

The Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Civil Relief Act can delay any court proceedings. Your spouse will have to request a delay of the proceedings and provide proof of why his military duties prevent him from obtaining proper representation in court. Coverage under the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Civil Relief Act if generally granted to service members on extended deployments or stationed overseas. Discuss with your lawyer if it is in your best interest to delay divorce proceedings until such time as your spouse may obtain representation.



Who should I talk to about divorcing my spouse?

You may obtain some basic information from the base Legal Assistance office. However, you will need to retain civilian legal counsel before any divorce proceedings may begin.



Where can I find more information about military divorce?

Try Military Divorce Online.



Do I get the BAH included in my support?

The question of support is complex and will require the review of many factors. If you and your spouse are not legally separated but living apart he is still required to provide monetary support to all eligible dependants. The Navy provides basic support guidelines in the absence of a court ordered support document. These guidelines are in no way legally binding however and should not take the place of court ordered spousal or child support. You may obtain the support guidelines at this site. The support guidelines listed state a service member should provide a portion of his or her gross pay in the support of his or her spouse. Gross pay includes basic pay and BAH if the service member is eligible. Gross pay will not include any hazardous duty pay, sea pay, clothing allowance or other extras a service member is entitled to. To obtain support when a court order has not been issued contact the command chaplain or the base legal aid office.  To obtain information on the support guidelines of other branches of the armed forces contact your base legal aid office.

The amount of any court ordered support would vary depending on the laws in your state and the circumstances the judge overseeing your divorce felt relevant. If you are legally separated from your husband and court ordered support has been issued you may draft a letter to his command requesting an allotment be set up for the direct deposit of the required funds to your account. If the command is unsupportive of your efforts you may need to contact the base chaplain or legal aid office. However, you do need to keep in mind that all efforts to obtain support may be more difficult if your spouse is currently on an extended deployment.

If you find yourself in a financial emergency you may contact the American Red Cross or the Navy-Marine Corp Relief Society for immediate assistance.



Is the BAH for me and my children? If I am entitled to it then how do I obtain it?

BAH or Basic Allowance for Housing is intended to provide service members compensation based on local civilian housing costs when government housing is not provided or available. Service members without dependants are also eligible for BAH. Despite popular myth separated spouses are not entitled to 100% of a service member’s BAH unless court ordered. For more information on support and obtaining support from a service member visit your base legal aid office.



My husband and I are divorcing after 22 years of marriage.  He and I have both agreed that I would receive half of his pension.  My question is do I have to wait until he retires to receive this half or can I get any of it now?

Congress gave courts the right to divide military retirement pay under the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA). In 1995, the Department of Defense published a proposed rule governing the Hypothetical future award of a former spouse when the marriage ends while the member is on active duty.

The elements of a hypothetical consist of three things: the rank on which the hypothetical retirement must be based; the years of creditable service to be used; and the percentage awarded to the former spouse. This allows the parties to lock in the award to the former spouse at the rank of the member at the time of divorce. Post divorce increases in rank are apportioned only to the member.

Payments under the USFSPA begin within 90 days of the member's entry on the retirement rolls. Reservists are not eligible to begin receiving retired pay until the age of 60. Former spouses may also be eligible for Social Security benefits since military personnel contribute to that system.

In situations where the divorce occurs many years before actual retirement, it is advisable for either the lawyer or the former spouse to contact DFAS when retirement occurs. DFAS does not have a tickler system to remind it of a pending USFSPA case.

If you have additional questions on the USFSPA please contact your legal counsel. In addition, information may be obtained on-line at Life Lines.

Neither The Solo-Ops Knowledge Center or Sgt. Wife is qualified to dispense legal advice and recommends you contact a qualified attorney in all legal matters.




My ex will not pay support.  How do I force him?

The collection of support from any non-custodial parent can be difficult at times.  It is made even more so with service members that are living in a separate state or deployed.  To locate information on support enforcement you can visit the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families Office of Child Support Enforcement or visit your local office of Support Enforcement. 

Unless support is court order, the military does not have the ability to force a service member to provide support to a dependant, they can punish service members that fail to adequately provide for a dependant though.  Since this punishment is protected under the Privacy Act of 1974 many spouses will never know of this punishment unless informed by the service member.   

Each branch takes a slightly different view of what adequate support is and what is appropriate punishment for failure to provide it.  For some service members it is only a slap on the wrist and a verbal warning.  However, if the command deems it appropriate a service member could lose rank, privilege or even a promotion for failure to support a dependant.   

I know that none of this will help your sister in law right now though.  The first stop your sister in law should make is the base legal assistance office.  They will not assist her in any filing of paperwork or in obtaining legal counsel, but they can inform her of her rights and the appropriate next step to take.   

There are several routes available to a wife if the service member fails to provide support.  The first step should always be warning the service member that if they do not meet their financial obligations the spouse will be forced to take appropriate action.  It is best to provide this warning to a service member in writing by certified mail if possible.  The spouse should keep a copy of the letter and any response for her records.   

If a written warning fails to produce support then the next step would be to contact the command liaison.  This person may be knows as a Key Volunteer, Ombudsman, First Shirt, or FRG Leader based on the branch of service.  The spouse should explain the situation and request assistance from the command liaison.  Again be sure to document all correspondence and conversations.  

If an appropriate response is not received from the command liaison the spouse should then contact the base chaplain or base legal aide office.  Be sure to provide copies of all documentation you have acquired in your previous attempts.  Keep the request for assistance to the facts only.  This is not the time to bad mouth or insult the service member.  Also, it is much easier to work with a spouse that is calm and organized. 

  Finally, if this does not produce results you may be required to go directly to the service member's command.  I would recommend doing so at least the first time in writing.  Continue to keep documentation.  Start with the service member's direct supervisor.  Again, stay calm and organized.  Keep a record of all conversations.  Do not use this as an attempt to bad mouth the service member as it is unlikely to produce results.  Stick to documented facts only as these are easier for any supervisor to produce results from.   

If results are not received from the service member's supervisor, inform the supervisor that you will now go up the chain of command until appropriate action is taken.  Remember to document and inform each person you talk to of your next action.  This is a courtesy as well as a tactic to let the person you are speaking to know that you are serious.   

If an emergency should arise and a spouse is unable to pay bills or is in danger of evictions you can contact the American Red Cross or the aide society for the appropriate branch of service.  

The final thing to remember is that The Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil Relief Act can make it more difficult to obtain support if the service member is deployed.   

For more information on Military Divorce and Support please see about.com.



He wants a divorce. Do I have any recourse?

Even if the military is able to force a service member to attend counseling it is unlikely to help your marriage if your husband does not attend with an interest in saving the relationship.  In addition, contacting a spouse's command is often a tricky situation that can often make matters worse.  The service member may view this as an attempt to damage his career.  Before contacting the command I would recommend taking the following steps.

1.  Contact the base legal aide office.  It is important to prepare for the worse case scenario of the marriage ending.  You need to be informed of the benefits you will be entitled to before, during and after a divorce.  I have found for many service members knowing this information often gives them incentive to attempt to correct marital issues.  Right or wrong, money is an excellent motivator.

2.  Contact the base chaplain or TRICARE to begin counseling alone.  It is important to protect your own mental well being during this time.  While TRICARE will not become involved with the service member's command, it is possible if he desires a chaplain may contact the command to request a meeting with the service member. 

3.  Remember that any action your take to "force" counseling on your spouse could have a negative effect on his career.  It is unlikely that he will be cooperative of any efforts if this occurs.  If you are not concerned with this possibility you may contact Family Advocacy for assistance.