He got discharged...

[Katelyn]

I dont know anything about shin splints, nor do i know anything about being discharged, so i cant help you in this manor.

But i can say, his career in the military should not determine your marriage. Why would this have any affect on you guys getting married? And why would your parents feel differently now? Its not like he got kicked out for doing drugs or hurting someone.. its a medical condition. If you love him, and they are his soon to be mother and father in law, you guys should do nothing but support him in finding a new career path. What happens if he got out after you had been married? would divorced me discussed? unlikely. Sometimes the military makes up their own rules and can be STUPID. DO NOT and i mean DO NOT let it affect they way you feel about him. Get married anyways, people do it all the time. No one said you had to fall in love with a military man. and we'd still love to talk to you on SO!

[Alison]

I do understand a little why the parents might be a little worried, since they are probably just concerned about him being able to provide for you. Just see how the next few weeks play out, and let them calm down about his not being in the military anymore.

[StudioCat]

It's not 2 years, it is 6 month minimum. It is not an automatic discharge, but you do have the option to take the discharge if you want to. I had this in boot camp, and with proper care and rest, it takes about 3-6 weeks to rebuild the tendon. It's not like it is a chronic problem that is never going to heal. Sounds like he/you didn't get the proper information.

My son had similar issues in the USAF. They ended up putting him out. He was devastated. Just before he left, when all of his paperwork was completed, they told him he could have fought it and stayed in and gotten through it. He tried to stay, but it was too late at that point. It was infuriating because they made sure he knew his rights, just not until after the fact. I called my congressman over it.

So if you BF want's to stay in, he does have an option to fight it. He just has to push it.

[hisPRiNCESS]

I dont know anything about shin splints, nor do i know anything about being discharged, so i cant help you in this manor.

But i can say, his career in the military should not determine your marriage. Why would this have any affect on you guys getting married? And why would your parents feel differently now? Its not like he got kicked out for doing drugs or hurting someone.. its a medical condition. If you love him, and they are his soon to be mother and father in law, you guys should do nothing but support him in finding a new career path. What happens if he got out after you had been married? would divorced me discussed? unlikely. Sometimes the military makes up their own rules and can be STUPID. DO NOT and i mean DO NOT let it affect they way you feel about him. Get married anyways, people do it all the time. No one said you had to fall in love with a military man. and we'd still love to talk to you on SO!

They are for us getting married, but not until we're ready. Him joining the military, they know hard it is for us to be apart, and like Alison said... he'd be able to take care of me without a doubt. Money-wise. They know he takes care of me all the time other than money-wise but they're parents, they want to know I'll be okay without them you know? I understand their point of view, but I did see it as being a bit unfair, especially towards him.

We already agreed neither of us will ever be signing any divorce papers. Ever. Of course I can say that now, but who knows down the road... but after 6 years of struggles together and now this... I think we're a good team =)

My mom obviously knew how much she upset me and talked to me last night and if I want to get married, then she wont stop me and if it makes me happy she wont make me feel bad about it. She is concerned about what will happen after, will we still be living at home with our parents? I'm sure we'll figure something out.

But I agree, the military should NOT determine if I'm going to marry him or not. It pushed us in that direction and now that we have our heart set on it, just because he was discharged does not mean we should just cancel everything. Right? If anything, maybe this situation AND being married will encourage us to try even harder to get where we need to go together.

And of course, I'll still be on here. I love this forum =).

[Katelyn]

I understand where you parents are coming from, yes... but the military is not the only career there is. it shouldnt determine if you get married or not, you marry because you love someone, not because of their career or amount of money in their checking.

My DH is set to get out in a few years, and right now he cant get a security clearance and could be discharged in the next 6 months if it doesnt pass.. but i would never reconsider him as my husband! The military is not forever (for some yes, but not for most) He will not be in till your 90!!! At wont point he will get out, retirement, time up, discharge, something! So dont let that determine what you do! And you have to remember he depends on you just as much as you depend on him. AND honestly you dont even make millions in the army anyways!! I work 2 jobs and sometimes we still struggle!! and it gets SO much worse when you throw kids in their..

No one said life was easy! everyone has struggles! This is just another hurdle for you two to jump over together =] Dont let it make you second guess yourself, you fell in love with him for a reason, you have been togther for 6 years, and the military wasnt there then? You decided then to be together, and determined your future off those years, if he can take care of you or not. You know that he has the will power to do something else if the army doesnt work out. you know him well enough to know he isnt going to let you down or put you in a terrible situation.. or you wouldnt have stuck around! Everything will be fine!

[Alison]

I was talking to my husband about it, and apparently both the Marine Corps and the Air Force are notorious for stuff like this during boot camp/basic. Because they are more selective about who they take in the first place in a lot of cases, they don't have as much of an issue kicking someone out, because there will be someone else to take their place.

[hisPRiNCESS]

My son had similar issues in the USAF. They ended up putting him out. He was devastated. Just before he left, when all of his paperwork was completed, they told him he could have fought it and stayed in and gotten through it. He tried to stay, but it was too late at that point. It was infuriating because they made sure he knew his rights, just not until after the fact. I called my congressman over it.

So if you BF want's to stay in, he does have an option to fight it. He just has to push it.

I brought this up with him, and he said they told him there was nothing he could do about it. His discharge papers have already been signed and sent it for processing. Someone else told me the same thing, that he still has the option to fight it through. But the doctors that saw him (he said 7 doctors told him the same thing and wrote it down on his record) all said that he has no choice. I would not doubt that they'll tell him the same thing right before he gets in cab to leave.

I'm a bit unhappy with the USAF right now, not only did this happen but they screwed up my friends papers who went in right before him and they screwed up her job and everything.

[hisPRiNCESS]

I understand where you parents are coming from, yes... but the military is not the only career there is. it shouldnt determine if you get married or not, you marry because you love someone, not because of their career or amount of money in their checking.

My DH is set to get out in a few years, and right now he cant get a security clearance and could be discharged in the next 6 months if it doesnt pass.. but i would never reconsider him as my husband! The military is not forever (for some yes, but not for most) He will not be in till your 90!!! At wont point he will get out, retirement, time up, discharge, something! So dont let that determine what you do! And you have to remember he depends on you just as much as you depend on him. AND honestly you dont even make millions in the army anyways!! I work 2 jobs and sometimes we still struggle!! and it gets SO much worse when you throw kids in their..

No one said life was easy! everyone has struggles! This is just another hurdle for you two to jump over together =] Dont let it make you second guess yourself, you fell in love with him for a reason, you have been togther for 6 years, and the military wasnt there then? You decided then to be together, and determined your future off those years, if he can take care of you or not. You know that he has the will power to do something else if the army doesnt work out. you know him well enough to know he isnt going to let you down or put you in a terrible situation.. or you wouldnt have stuck around! Everything will be fine!

No, the military wasnt a part of our lives then. We were still in high school =) though I was set to join the Army and he was willing to come with me if that were the case. Then my recruiter ended up being a really mean person so that didnt work out.

He tried looking for a job for two years and came up with nothing so he decided to go to his original plan and join the Airforce. You're right it isnt the only career but it just seems easier you know? There are a lot of misleading information about the military. I agree with the money. Its nice to have income but it isnt what everyone makes it out to be.

I know hes strong and I know he'll get through this and I know he'll figure something else out. I have faith he will. For now the most I can do is try to be there for him as much as I can when he comes home. Though he sounded a lot better today, I'm sure when he comes home he'll feel like he failed everyone when that is NOT true. We're all still very proud of him.

He was discharged from basic training, hes suppose to graduate in 3 weeks. I think thats what makes is suck, he was so close and they're just kicking him out.

In my opinion... its about time we get married! Haha. Six years is a mighty long time to be together! I'm not for being married (hard to explain) but secretly, I'm really excited about this .

Thank you for your advice though. I do appreciate it .

[hisPRiNCESS]

I was talking to my husband about it, and apparently both the Marine Corps and the Air Force are notorious for stuff like this during boot camp/basic. Because they are more selective about who they take in the first place in a lot of cases, they don't have as much of an issue kicking someone out, because there will be someone else to take their place.

I figured so. The Air Force is extremely picky about who they recruit. A lot of people he went to MEPS with didnt get in for the smallest reasons. And a week after he took his ASVAB they raised the minimum score. I also read somewhere that the Air Force is looking to let go of 10,000 people by 2011. So that worried me as well. And their requirements are a lot different from every branch. If he doesnt re-enlist by the time hes 26, he wont be able to enlist anymore. And that's hoping they dont change the age limit from now til then either.

It just sucks.

[Amanda09]

Wow that is so weird! I've never heard of anyone being discharged for that kind of thing, but I do know they've gotten a TON stricter about the PT tests. I'm sorry that ya'll are having to go through all this.